Episode 23: Post Alopecia: What A Typical Day Looks Like Now

Today’s episode of the podcast is about Post Alopecia: What A Typical Day Looks Like Now

KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST

• How setting boundaries help me protect myself

• Look out for the things that you say or wish for because what you ask for potentially comes in another way from another perspective

• The harder route is more beneficial for you like studying and doing homework against having someone do it for you, like losing weight much longer compared to taking a crash diet is safer

• You will learn a lot of different things as you go through the healing process - letting go of things that don't serve you right

• You need to take care of yourself first so that you can be a better mother, better parent, better spouse, etc

• Health always comes first - mind, body, and spirit

• Say no to negative people, to anything that doesn't feel right, to situations that suck the energy and life out of you, to things that don't spark joy or inspiration

• Alopecia is much more than hair loss, it will affect every aspect of your life

• You had to heal on various levels in order to get your hair back.

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Transcription

Awaken to hair growth. Awaken to hair growth because there is, possibility to get your hair back. Awaken to hair growth because we're not told that we're able to conquer and overcome alopecia. Awaken to hair growth because I want to be a positive light and beacon for you because I've healed my alopecia and now I help others do the same with different types of alopecia, men, women, children, of all ages, of all races and ethnicities.

Welome back everybody to the alopecia angel podcast, awaken to hair growth. Today we're gonna go over and talk about what my daily life routine looks like. I had a question come to me through a client and she asked me, what does your day look like? What does, you know, your weeks, your routine look like now after alopecia? And that's a fantastic question because it will look different for everybody, especially now as a mother, as anyone knows, who's a parent that changes significantly with routines with nap times and wake up times it's evolving as it should.

Your health should always be improving and life evolves. What do they say? The only constant is change. If you're changing, it's constantly happening that's a good thing, right? Cause we're growing from that and hopefully it's always in a positive motion, you know, anything that’s just stuck or is it moving? or isn't flowing? it’s stagnant, right? Just like water in a puddle, it's stagnant, it's not moving anywhere and it's just collecting bacteria and collecting mosquitoes and anything else that's there. So we always want to be flowing like a river and we always want to be growing as well. 

So a day in the life of my life today, outside of the baby, outside of work and everything else. I think more importantly, what I'd like to share is that my life today is so different from before alopecia, because I put things A.) into perspective and B.) into balance. So, for example, when I wake up or I try to always wake up and think about things that I'm grateful for, and yes, I have a gazillion things on my to-do list and yes, I have things that I need to think about and accomplish, but at the same time, I also want to respect my body and also keep things in balance.

So for example, I do a check with myself and I actually teach this as well in the program but I check to see how I'm feeling – mind, body, and spirit and whatever it is that I'm feeling, I acknowledge. And I also, instead of let's say brushing it under the rug or putting it in denial, or even just putting it on the back burner and I make it something that I need to focus on.

So for example, if I'm not feeling well and I have a headache, I'm going to take steps to remedy that headache or to remedy the fatigue or to remedy the lack of sleep or to remedy anything else that I might be feeling. And I think that's important to acknowledge is to just kind of check in with yourself on a daily basis.

I think sometimes in our lives and our busy hectic lives, we just bulldoze over our feelings. We bulldoze over, we're doing what we're going through, just to quote unquote muscle through it, just to quote unquote survive, just to quote unquote get done and just keep going. And that's one way of attacking your day to day, but at the same time, it's not sustainable and you actually see the repercussions of that sooner versus later.

I used to do that and I no longer do. So for example, I also have, since having alopecia, I've also learned and created more boundaries. I think boundaries are important. So if something doesn't feel right, I don't feel obligated to do it. If time or other constraints or just not wanting to do it, I don't feel obligated anymore.

Even if it's a request from close loved ones, or even if it's putting me outside of what I'm capable of doing or adding on to my list of things to do or accomplish, if it doesn't feel right then I just say no and I actually say no more often now than I did before Before alopecia, I would say yes to almost everything. Yes to going out, yes to staying up later. Yes to seeing more friends and maybe making my schedule even more hectic and chaotic. I used to say yes to all the requests and favors that family or friends would ask of me. I would say yes yes yes and just pile up more more more onto me without realizing that I was overextending myself mentally, physically, emotionally.

And now I say, no, I say, I think twice about picking up the phone. If it's with somebody who drains me versus somebody who lifts me or versus a friend who I could speak to. I was talking to a friend the other day mindfully, and I was telling her, you know, I can speak to you for two hours cause we do, we talk for hours and it feels great.

Even though she has, you know, bad things that happened to her. And she'll, she'll talk to me about the good, the bad and the ugly of what's going on in life, it's fine. And we can spend two, three hours on the phone and everything's great and I leave the phone call always with like a fuzzy, warm feeling.

And that's, that's a beautiful thing, but at the same time there's friends I've put boundaries with. And if they, even after five minutes, if it's nothing but complaints and negativity and just strain that I'm constantly hearing or victim mentality, I stay away from that and I've put boundaries and I picked the phone up less when they call or vice versa. I'm still very loving and cordial and I still, you know, send them good vibes but at the same time, I also need to protect myself as well. 

And so I don't know see them as often and I don't talk to them as often either. And even when it comes to family, I love my family, but some family members are more challenging than the others and at times people like to complain and be negative Nancys and when that happens, I tend to change the subject. I tend to help them see the positive side out of what's going on and if not, then I say I got to go, I just got to go. I'll talk to you later, love you, bye. I leave it at that, but at the same time, I don't want it to drain me. I don't want it to affect me.

Before alopecia I took on everything, I took on people's pain. I took on people's worries and guilt and concerns and fears and tried to overextend myself in many ways to help them achieve whatever they needed to achieve. And I would spend so much effort on my end and energy. And so now I watch myself, I watch the energy that I have, I watch who I give my energy to, I watch how I spend my energy and I try to always create positivity in everything I do and say, and that's even when something negative happens should occur because again, it's all perspective, right?

If something negative happens, let's say in this case, alopecia, you have to see, okay, what is this teaching me? What is this helping me grow or move through? Or what are the obstacles that I need to overcome and conquer for me to be a better person. So for example, right? If you ask, let's say the universe, Hey, I want to be more patient. Help me to be more patient. Well, guess what then probably the universe is going to give you a lot more challenges so that you can learn to be more patient, because it will be consistently testing you so that you raise your awareness, raise your levels and upgrade yourself towards being more patient and more tolerant, right?

And so these are the things that you want to look out for, because what you ask for potentially comes in another way, in another perspective. And so this is all part of life in terms of growth, in terms of doing better and the growing and the growth that I went through going through alopecia and then coming out of it and having health and hair has put a different perspective on me and my life and how I live it, and how I want it to be, and also on my priorities and, what really matters.

You know, when I look back at health and how, at the time that I was diagnosed, I didn't realize that I could be part of the 25% to go on and get a second or a third autoimmune disease. I didn't know that this could snowball into going bald. I didn't know and realize the whole spectrum of what alopecia would look like. And so just a couple internet searches that led me to seeing the doom and gloom and I knew deep down that I wanted something different. I knew deep down, I wanted my hair back and I knew I would get it back, but I also wanted it to heal and upgrade in a holistic, healthy way.

You know, the thing is there's many ways to accomplish a goal, right? Whether that's losing weight, getting your hair back, whether that's graduating from college, etcetera, there's many ways to do it, right? You can cheat on your final exams. You can have somebody else do your homework. You can have somebody else go to class for you and you can still graduate from college, or you can do all the work yourself and still graduate from college, right? You have essentially two options, right?

In terms of losing weight, you can do those crash diets. You can starve yourself, you can do so many different things and try so many different diets at the end of the day, what's sustainable? And so sometimes the harder route is actually the more beneficial for you. So just like studying, learning, doing the homework, doing the extra credit, maybe having to get a tutor, etcetera, all these steps take you to graduating from college, but it's well deserved and just like losing weight you can't expect to lose 50 pounds in a month because that would be an unhealthy way to do it and you could probably not just damage your organs, but also you would probably definitely damage your hormones and everything else that's going along with it.

So you want it to be sustainable. You want it to be little by little because that's really how it is and in terms of healing alopecia, those three years that it took me to heal and overcome it was a life lesson, a life lesson of many lessons, actually all wrapped into one. It wasn't just getting the hair back. It was step-by-step, it was teaching me so many different things and one of those things was teaching me how to let go of perfectionism, how to let go of my ideals, of what I valued and potentially my values were skewed right at the time.

It also taught me to let go of having to take care of others first, before me. And I know that's a big issue with so many people today, but especially women because women are caretakers in general. They're the ones who care for so many other people before themselves and I see this a lot with my clients, but also even with me where I used to always be taking care of my friends and family and you know, all, everyone around me before myself.

When we all know that we need to take care of ourselves first to be able to do better for others. And now I see this so much more blatantly with being a mother that I definitely need to take care of myself first, so that I can be a better mother and a better parent and a better wife and a better human all around.

So I let go of having to please everybody. I let go of having to say yes to everything. Even when I didn't want to in the past, I would still say yes. I felt obligated for some reason, I always felt obligated to fulfill and all these favors and tasks and demands from everybody that put me out essentially, put me out of whatever I was doing. Put me out on my time, put me out on my schedule, put me out on so many things and I guess sometimes we learn the hard way, right? 

And I did learn the hard way and so going back to the initial question of what does my routine look like now? What does my life look like now? Post alopecia? Well, My health comes first in all aspects, health of mind, body, and spirit. And again, if something is off in the morning, like I'll notice it then I attend to it. If something is not feeling a hundred percent, I attend to it. Also at night when I go to bed, I also do a body scan and I see how I feel, you know, how are my legs and my toes and my hands and my head and not just my hair, but everything else going on inside me.

How does my heart feel? How do, how are my feelings? How is the mental chatter and clutter in my head? What do I need more of? And I ask myself, what do I need more of each day as a mental note? And sometimes it's vegetables and sometimes it's neat, I need more stretching. And sometimes I need more, me time and sometimes I need more water or whatever it is, but I make a note, I need more of this, I need more of that  and they're just little reminders of what maybe I need more of, even if it's fresh flowers, I need more of that or whether it's more sunshine or whether it's more time in nature, then I make a mental note and I try to plan accordingly. 

Just like if I woke up with a sore throat, I would probably grab some tea and some honey and try to comfort it and soothe it, right? So I take immediate action with whatever's going on. I don't let it linger and I think that's part of why sometimes we see things blow up in terms of health later on, because we just put it underneath the rug, you know, say, ah, we don't need to see the doctor. Ah, we don't need to do this. Uh, we don't need to do that so that you just kind of keep pushing it under the rug.

So post alopecia, I make my health a priority, mind, body, and spirit. Post alopecia I say no more often. I say no to people who drain me. I say no to negative people in general. I say no to anything that doesn't feel right. I say no to situations that energy and the life out of me. I say no to things that don't spark joy to me and that don't inspire me.

So for example, if someone says, Hey, let's go to this restaurant or let's go to this amusement park or let's go here, let's go there. Wherever that place is, if it doesn't sit well with my values, I'm going to say no and I'll say, how about we go here instead. I'll recommend it or just volunteer in an alternate place, or it's a happy medium or where it's comfortable for both of us.

And I find myself much more empowered now than before. Instead of going along with whatever the person wanted to make them happy. Now it's also about what makes me happy and so it's not always about the other person, it's also about you because if you're going to spend time with that person to do an activity or to go somewhere or to check something out, you want to be on the same page. You want to have a give and take, but at the same time, you also don't want to go outside of your values.

And so, for example, I don't like smoking, I don't like cigarettes. I just don't like smoking or cigarettes at all and so for example, if my friends say, Hey, I want to go to this bar and I know that there's a lot of smokers there. I probably will say thanks, but no, thanks. So it's that type of thing where I no longer bend my values or my feelings for others or for what others want to do, if they want to do it, that's great. We can still be friends, but I don't want to go to that place or I don't want to go to that recommended location that they're wanting to go with me for.

And what I've also noticed is that post alopecia, some of my friends have changed. A lot of my friends are still the same, but some have changed and that's okay too. And I get this question a lot with the younger folks who do my program. Let's say people in college or people like teenagers in general because they start to see a shift, because once we start getting healthy then those who are unhealthy and those who are attractive being unhealthy, then you start to have a divide, right?

You start to have a divide, and that happens as you evolve as a person you will continue to shed things that no longer serve you. And I see that more and more, and I embrace it more and more. Continue to almost like slough off the dead skin off of me so that you can have renewed skin, right? So that all your new cells can be shiny and happy.

So for example, when you do a facial scrub or a scrub on your body, all the dead skin comes off and then you're left with soft supple, like baby soft skin, and many times that's what happens when you're evolving as a person, you're letting go of what no longer serves you and you're putting up more boundaries and you're saying yes to more self-love, you're saying yes to more self-care, you're saying yes to more of your values and what you hold to be true.

And you're saying no to the things that don't bring you peace for positivity or happiness or spark joy, or even inspiration. And so before, for example, I never liked scary movies and now I won't even attempt to see it because somebody wants to see it or let's say if my husband wants to see a series of like scary movies or movies that are just kind of dark, I just won't even, I just say, no, I don't want to see scary movies. I don't want to see horror movies. I don't want to have nightmares. I don't want to have these weird pictures in my mind.

So I say no more often and funny enough, I was reading something the other day and I've come to learn that a lot of successful people say no more often and they interviewed Warren Buffet, which for those of you who don't know, Warren Buffet is a very, very wealthy, uh, gentlemen in the United States and he has amassed a huge fortune. And it's because he says many times it was due to say no, because imagine somebody of his stature is probably offered many things, right? It's probably offered many things to invest in, maybe many things to do and he said no many times.

And you have to say no to be able to focus on what you want. So going back to healing alopecia during my time of healing alopecia, I said, no, probably 90% of the time to so many things in life because I was in a healing state. I was in a very hyper-focused mode to get my hair back, to get my life back, to get my happiness, my everything back because for those of you who don't know, alopecia is much more than hair loss and it really affected every aspect of my life, it really did. 

And so for those three years, I was extremely hyper-focused and vigilant, and I did everything nonstop so that I can heal faster. And in that transition of healing, I had to say no to so many things that I would have normally done because I want it to heal. And many times you have to sacrifice, right? I hear it all the time from athletes who have to sacrifice, let's say going out or they sacrifice certain parties or they sacrifice so many things so that they can perform well, so that they can do well, so that they can win the championship, so that they can go to the tournament, so that they can get to that goal that they have.

So there are sacrifices when it comes to healing and I would say embrace it more than shunning it away because the more you embrace, say no, the more you embrace the change that's coming along the quicker you will heal and it does take time but at the same time, it can be quicker once you put yourself first.

And I think that's another life lesson that I learned was putting myself first. And that's what it takes, you need to put yourself first in order to make space for you to grow in order to make space for you to heal, right? So for example, if you, or your loved one has a cold you automatically help that person get over the coal. Maybe they stay home from school. Maybe they, you stay home from work. Maybe you take some chicken soup. Maybe you have some bone broth. Maybe you have some tea with lemon in it and honey, this type of thing, right?

You nurse yourself back to healing and then what do you do? You're in bed, you are sleepy, you're recovering from this cold and it might take a week. It might take less than a week, but even if it just took 24 hours, you would still be vulnerable. Let's say within the next 24 to 48 hours after that, wouldn’t you? Cause you're still healing so it's not like you can go to somewhere and just eat a bunch of junk food cause that would probably bring you back down.

You would want to stick to a regular, healthy diet in general so that you can overcome that and so I think that's also putting into perspective about alopecia and healing alopecia that you need to focus on it. When, once you're focused on it, you will see results, but you have to be focused. Hyper-focused on it and you have to say no to many things and it's not forever, but it's for right now.

So for example, when you have the cold and you're in bed for the week, okay. You're in bed for the week and you're focused on the cold, right? You're reading books. Maybe you're doing puzzles, but you're doing like low key activities to recoup from the cold so that it doesn't get into bronchitis so that it doesn't move forward into pneumonia.

And so in the same vein, when you're focused on healing alopecia you need to say no to a bunch of things so that you can heal quicker and move on with your life. And that's what I did for me, though it took longer as you know, it took three years, but for you, it could take a shorter amount of time.

And that's, that's key for everything because I know you want results in less time. We all do and so this is the healthiest and the most sustainable way to get those results in less time. So letting go is a huge sigh of relief and being able to let go was so good for me on many levels. So good for me letting go to what society thinks and says.

Letting go of societal pressures in general, letting go of kind of like the negative self-talk. Letting go of fears and the uncertainty, because I knew that if I continued on this path, I'd get my hair back and all my clients have too so you can too, that's not a doubt. There is no doubt in getting your hair back. It's just doing the work and believing in yourself, it really is. 

And letting go, goes back to letting go of those fears, letting go of the concern, letting go of the what ifs, letting go of the negative self-talk, letting go of the perfectionism, letting go of trying to be everything for everybody and then nothing for yourself.

And I have a client who she had a major breakthrough during the program and I could see from just the intake form alone, which is 10 pages long, but I could see from her intake form that she was overextending herself in so many ways, she was overextending herself and we do that often and then you just come into a burnout, you really do and you're burning the candle at both ends and it's just, it's unhealthy. 

And many times we have to take time away or illness happens, right? Where forces us to take time for ourselves because if not, we wouldn't be and that's a harsh reality, but alopecia is a reminder, is a sounding alarm to do something for you, to do something for your health, put yourself first because something is off and you're not putting yourself first.

And so letting go of all, that was very good. Letting go of negative people. Yeah. Just anything in terms of negativity. Let go, let go, let go, let, go and close the door on it and I did and it was so relieving. It was so it brought in kind of like this tidal wave of peace into my life once I did that. And sometimes it's scary to do that, especially when it comes to family and friends but it was so relieving and it's been nothing but peaceful sense. And so sometimes you're in strive for sometimes you're like struggling with a situation, with loved ones or close people near you, or maybe even it's a boss or coworkers, or maybe, you know, it's an environment that you're in and the best thing to do is to let go of it and to remove yourself out of it.

And I know multiple people, even clients who, they realize this when it comes to the work situation, they realize this when it comes to family situations and they create those boundaries, they leave the job, they change into a different department. There's so many options that you can do to create more peace, more positivity in your life.

And it's just taking action, it really is. And sometimes the fear is in the action, but once you're in movement, then you can only keep going, right? It's kinda like those wheels, those wheels on the car, once they're inaction and movement, you just keep going forward and that's what you want ultimately, you want to keep moving forward.

And the hardest part is putting yourself first, it really is, especially for, for all of you out there, who put everyone else first and who do everything for everyone else, putting yourself first is important because your health is affected by it and your health will be affected by it. And so many times alopecia springs up and you don't expect it. You don't even know what it is like in my case. And then all of a sudden you're like, oh my gosh, I have alopecia. What do I do? 

And so next week, I'm going to talk about another adjective on this scenario of alopecia, of growing from it, of healing from it. And so I'm going to actually do this each week for the next couple of weeks and use one word to describe what this situation of healing, overcoming it, and what that transformation looked like for me, because again, it's not just about my daily routine and what that looks like and what I'm eating and what I'm doing.

And you know, if I'm meditating at five in the morning, etcetera, that's not it, but it's also how you look at life. It's also the perspective. It's also how you balance it out for yourself. In your own environment, you know, and how you take on challenges and sure negative things happen to everybody, but it's also how you react to those negative things.

So for example, those of you listening, you have hair loss, you have alopecia. Okay, so what's your perspective on it? Is it a negative one? Is your perspective that, Hey, you can heal or are you holding onto it like a victim or are you holding onto it like some sort of badge of honor because having alopecia is not a badge of honor. Having alopecia isn't a, it's a sounding alarm that something's off-kilter, that something is not in balance and we need to balance it out.

It's a sounding alarm that you need to focus on your health and you need to do something before it gets out of hand. Just like a simple cold can get out of hand into bronchitis, into pneumonia, into so many other things if you don't let it, if you don't heal it and let it linger, this is kind of what can happen with alopecia.

And so it's an alarm for you to take action and many times people wear the alopecia name, word, like a badge of honor when it's not. And many times I see it even on, on Instagram or on social media where people describe themselves by their illnesses. So for example, uh, there's one person in general that I'm thinking about, and she's got like this long list of illnesses and she puts it all underneath her, her name, under her like bio for her social media.

Now to me, I'm scratching my head thinking, why are you doing this? And it's not about being, let's say private or not private, but that's not who you are. You are not your illness and you shouldn't define yourself by your illness. You have alopecia okay fine, do something about it, heal from it. Learn what you need to learn to overcome it just like you need to learn how to overcome a cold or a scraped knee or anything else that could be going wrong with your health. 

Learn from it and move forward. Don't define your life. Don't define yourself or put your identity attached to your illness. That's not helping you move forward. That's not helping you in a positive way. That's holding you back. The thing is, it's just like I'm wearing a yellow t-shirt today. I'm not defined by the yellow t-shirt, I'm not defined by the jeans. I'm not defined by anything I wear or don't wear. I'm not defined by how I'm wearing my hair or not how I'm wearing my hair.

I'm still me and you are still you with, or without the illness, you are still you. And many as I look back, I'm still Johanna, the same Johannah in many ways that I was before our patient, I'm still bubbly. I'm still outgoing. I'm still adventurous. I still love to travel. I still love to eat new foods. I still love to try new restaurants. I still love to, extracurricular activities. I still love the beach. I still love to have fun.

Many of the same loves and passions that I had before alopecia that hasn't changed. I still love so many things that I've been doing since I'm 20, but there's also a lot of things that I stopped doing. Number one is pleasing other people. Number two is I say no more often, I let go of what people think and say, and what society says. And I let go of, of all the pressures I let go of all that because I don't need it. It doesn't do anything good for me. It just creates more stress.

And in regards to healing and moving forward, know that you are still the same person. And yes, you will grow from healing and overcoming alopecia. However, you also become smarter. You will also become more knowledgeable. You will also see all the different things that this is teaching you. And if you're in my program, you already know all these other things that it's teaching you in a very quick, rapid form.

There's tons of information in this two month program, so much so where people extend because they need more time. They need more time to review the information. There's just so much, and there is so much because there continues to be so much information. There continues to come out with more information.

And so this is what I like to provide is just continuous information. So I'm still the same curious studious. I love to learn. I'm still that same person, but I also can easily say no to many things that maybe don't fit well with me and my life right now. Maybe I need more quiet time instead of to be out in a festival. You know, I like to read books now, more now than before. I like to do my podcasts. I like to listen to audio books. There's so many more things that I like to do now. And that's also part of growing, part of evolving, right? And so it's a little different. Before I used to love festivals and I still do, but I also like the quiet.

I also like, again, having some tea and reading. I also require a little quiet time too. And so I think there's a time and a place for everything. And it's also respecting where you are in that time and place. And I want you to see yourself as you. I want you to see yourself as an evolving person that's growing, that's learning, that's becoming a better version of yourself because that's what it takes.

You need to shed those layers to emerge as a better version of yourself and you will be, you'll still be the same person as before, but you'll also be somebody with more boundaries, somebody with more intuition towards their body, towards what you need, towards what you don't need, towards what you want, towards what you don't want and that's huge.

Knowing what you want is so intrinsic to all our life decisions and it has a domino effect, it really does. It has a domino effect and so there is no need to be depressed, to be anxious, to be uncertain. It's just a matter of taking action, knowing what you want and moving forward to it. In terms of alopecia, I knew what I wanted. I wanted my hair, now  I didn't realize at the time that in order to get my hair, I had to heal on various levels. I didn't realize at the time that it required multiple factors and then once I did all the hair started coming back and that's how it starts.

And so this is why topical solutions don't work. This is why the cortisone shots don't work. This is why the PRP doesn't work. This is why so many of these other things don't work because look back at that one podcast that I mentioned, the 10 things that you're wasting your money on cause it's true, it's so true.

There's really expensive supplements out there. There's really expensive, like hair serums out there and none of that works for alopecia. I'm telling you it's a mind-body spirit situation and once you get it, the hair comes back. So, which is it? What do you want? Because when you know what you want, then you can move forward in confidence. When you know what you want, you can move forward in confidence. So get really, really focused, hyper-focused on what you want and move forward. Thank you so much. I look forward to speaking to you again in our next podcast. Take care. 

Thank you for listening to the alopecia angel podcast, a positive light in healing alopecia. You can do this and we can help. Spread the word that reversing alopecia is possible by telling your friends and family.