Episode 37: How to have Friends and Family Support You

 

Today’s episode of the podcast is about How to have Friends and Family Support You

KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST

• How can you alleviate hair loss

• Understanding stress

• What you can do during hair loss

• What are the things you should be focusing on instead of stress

• Importance of evaluation and consultation

HIGHLIGHTS YOU CAN'T SIMPLY MISS

• You can choose to get your hair back - 3:02

• Number one would be to talk openly about it. - 3:10

• Retreating means more time for you to figure

  things out next steps in self care and help. - 6:23

• Asking for the time and space is important and giving yourself

  that time and space is also important. - 6:32

• Ask for more patience, more hugs, more love, more attention. - 12:57

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Transcription

Awaken to hair growth. Awaken to hair growth because there is, possibility to get your hair back. Awaken to hair growth because we're not told that we're able to conquer and overcome alopecia. Awaken to hair growth because I want to be a positive light and beacon for you because I've healed my alopecia and now I help others do the same with different types of alopecia, men, women, children, of all ages, of all races and ethnicities.

Hello everybody and welcome back to the alopecia angel podcast, awakened to hair growth. I'm your host, Johanna Dahman and today we are talking about how to have your friends and family support you during alopecia.

And for those of you who are going through alopecia right now, maybe you've told your family and friends, maybe you haven't personally, I waited. I personally waited to tell anybody, especially my family. And when I did tell my family, it was like it was a one discussion and no one brought it up again.

And literally for four years later, no one brought it up again until I brought it up, it was such a sensitive topic. It was such a taboo topic to talk about, especially directly with me. Maybe also because I was on pins and needles, maybe also, because I was in this flux state of having like mood swings and just like okay one day and then just like on edge the next, and this can happen, right? This can happen for those of you,going through it, you understand this can happen. 

And so I wanted to talk about how to get your friends and family to support you. And then also later on when I started dating my husband, I didn't tell him early on. I told him once I got an official diagnosis by my hair stylist who was in California and so looking back, I know I had already started with alopecia, but I didn't get that official diagnosis till later. Because again, it started in the back of my head and so I didn't see it and I had lots of hair and so I just didn't really worry about it.

And then I got that official diagnosis and that's where the conversation started opening up between me and my fiance at the time, which is now my husband. So anyways, let's go back to these tips that I have for you so that you can. Get the support that you need emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, that you may need from friends and family, because it is a difficult time, because it is a challenging time, because it is a time where you're not understanding what's going on in your body.

And your friends and family have no clue as well. I mean, if you have no clue, they have less of a clue and what doctors tell you is probably discourage many times, right? They tell us that there's no cure. They tell us that diet and lifestyle won't make a difference. They tell us so many things that are untrue and don't serve us, don't service, don't help us, don't help us create a positive light or a positive strategy, right?

It just keeps us in this dooming, gloom, looking at the worst case scenario, situation and so instead of just accepting that you are losing your hair or just accepting alopecia, you don't have to, you can choose to. To heal. You can choose to get your hair back, but why not do it with love and support from friends and family? So these are some of my tips. 

So number one would be to talk openly about it and this is probably one of the most difficult things that I had to go through was to talk openly about it with my family and at the time also with my fiance, right? because you're dating somebody you're happy and actually he wasn't my fiance at the time he, we were still dating, but we already had plans to get engaged and we were actually, we got engaged like three months later, but in any case, talking about it openly and letting them know, Hey, this is what's going on.

It's an autoimmune disease. This is what doctors say, this is what I believe. This is what I'm researching, or this is what I'm gonna do and you need to get them on board and you have and be prepared, have as much information as possible because if you're family's like anything like my family, they're gonna bombard you with a thousand questions.

That's my typical family. Right? they ask a gazillion questions and so it's like, you gotta be prepared  for the questions and I don't know is an okay response, but at the same time, the more information you can dig up for them, the better it is, this way they can understand better because the more they understand, then the more they can understand what you're going through.

What you're feeling and how to navigate this with you, right? and so talk openly about it. And the more I started talking about it, the more I got more comfortable with my alopecia, the more I started talking about it with other people, people let's say at industry events or people at  just different encounters, whether it was like a random birthday party that I was at, or let's say a dinner out with a bunch of friends and maybe some new friends or whoever. And so I, I mean, alopecia is always like the first topic, really when it, especially now out of my mouth, because I'm just so passionate about it and I'm so obsessed about spreading the word that you can heal and reverse it.

So talking openly about it and having that, understanding them and having as much information for them so that they can understand you and help you navigate this the way you wanna navigate it, right? But so they can help support you in any way possible and that's also the key. How can they support you?

Well, what is it that you need? Do you need a hug today? Do you need some words of encouragement? Do you need. Someone to take out your garbage or to clean your house because you have no energy for it because you are just fatigued and kink outta bed, because you're so depressed that you don't wanna get out bed.

Like, what does this look like for you? And for you it'll look like different from what it look like for me and for me, I'm sure it looks like different for somebody else and so even as an adult, I got this in my thirties and it was just so confusing. So confusing. It was like this tsunami of feelings, this tsunami of emotions of just my body being hijacked.

And even, it was hard for me to describe until I understood later on what this all looked like and what this all meant. So talk openly about that, about it with your friends and family and those who you really care about, your spouse, the person you're dating this type of thing so that they can understand, and they can understand how to support you, whether the extra hugs maybe with maybe it's a couple of chores around the house. Maybe it's maybe not talking about it. It just depends. Right? What is it that you need from them and talk to them openly about it so that they can respect that and, and give you that space. 

Number two, I would say retreating means more time for you to figure things out next steps in self care and help. So retreating sometimes is okay and I will say that during my healing process, I retreated completely. I said, To more social activities and I said yes to more time indoors, not because I was trying to hide my hair loss, but because I was fatigued, I could barely get out of bed. Making lunch for myself was actually such a big task, such a monumental task.

And it was just absolutely very difficult for me to have the energy, the stamina or the desire to get outta bed. It really was. And so I retreated more. I went to bed earlier. I read more books. I was, vigorously trying to figure this out. I was just trying to see what the next steps were. I was trying to do more self care.

I was trying to move the needle, even if it was just in small steps in small baby steps. I mean, you can't even imagine, but this is the way it was. And I will say at the time I lived in Denver. And I had a grocery store underneath my building. And even just going downstairs to the grocery store was a monumental task.

It was just very, very hard to muster the energy and the strength to just do life, the daily life and so in this case, I would say retreating is okay, take the time and space that you need to say no to going out and say yes to more self care, to more of journal. Thinking about your next steps, thinking about what to do or research that you need to do online or whatever it is.

And so retreating is okay, and being communicative with those who you're retreating from, let's say, it's your best friend, or let's say, it's your friends in general or your family members. Like, it's okay to give yourself that space. And, but communicate to them like, Hey, I'm gonna take some space. I'm not gonna be on social media.

I'm not gonna be doing any of these things that I normally do, but I want you to let you know. I want to give myself some time and space to understand what's going on to figure this out and to go at my own pace. And so I know that your loved ones will support you and will, respect you for taking that initiative.

So retreating is okay. And again, it just means more time for you more time to figure things out for those next steps and then also for the, and the help that you need and the guidance that you need for that. Because a lot of times it's not obvious and many. The normal trajectory is to go to doctors and then another doctor and then a dermatologist and another dermatologist.

And then, you know, try these medications that don't help. And then once you realize that none of it helps, then you go the natural route and that's where people find me and so it takes people a while to, from where they started, let's say January 1st to let's say September, to finally say okay, I'm gonna try the natural.

And then they join the program and then, you know, in less than two months, they see the hair growth come. So it's a process. We don't naturally necessarily look for the natural route. A lot of times. That's what we pivot to because we see that conventional medicine has failed us and that's essentially what it does for alopecia, for other things. It's great and for other, for other situations like alopecia, it doesn't help. So be mindful of that. 

Number three, tip. Would be to ask for space and time and asking for space and time is your, is your birth rate and if that's your desire, then do so. And asking for space and time can look like many things. Maybe it's like, okay, not during the week, I'm gonna go out, but maybe on the weekends, I can make some time for people here and there, or maybe it's one time a month instead of four or five times a month and so also preserving your strength, preserving your capacity. And being mindful of that, because I will say that I wasn't as mindful with my healing process as I probably could have been or should have been.

And I overextended myself, I overexerted myself and looking back the way I have the program set up, it's set up for you to get the results in less time. But for me, because it took me over three years, I saw those results common like drops and it's like looking for rain in the middle of the desert.

It's not gonna come anytime soon, but it might come a drop here and two here and there and then, later on, then the tsunami floods come. So that's kind of like what it looks for me, but it can look different for you. So asking for the time and space is important and giving yourself that time and space is also important.

And not just to, let's say numb ourselves with TV or Netflix, but to also. See the options out there to also kind of lay it out and to also do our own research and to also feel more comfortable and to also seek out those positive success stories, because it doesn't have to look doom and gloom this isn't a cancer diagnosis, this is alopecia and you can reverse it. This is alopecia and your health is in your hands and you can't control this. A hundred percent. 

The next thing I would say is have them join the program with you and do the program with you. So for the parents who decide to do the program for their children, I tell them, guess what, mom, dad, brothers, sisters, you are doing the program with your child.

Why? Because we want them to feel supported. We don't want them to feel isolated. We want them to have that normalcy, the normalcy of the dinners and breakfast and brunches and anything else going on within the family or Festivities or holidays and having everyone eat the same foods and have everyone be on the same page.

And so if we're all on the same page, then we're in turn, supporting the child. But in the same token, we can also request that from our loved one. So let's say if you're the adult going through alopecia and you have children, or maybe let's say you live alone, or you just live with a partner, then have your partner do the program with you.

And it's not gonna take them out of how can I say this? It will only bring you guys together and it will only up level and upgrade their health as well. And so many times actually the parents have eczema, psoriasis, and allergies and other things. That bother them, but then they're doing the program for their child who has alopecia and then low and behold, their psoriasis or eczema and their allergies also alleviate or lessen or disappear altogether and they go away because they're doing the program. 

So this is a program to get healthy from the inside out and. From A to Z and so this way the whole house gets healthy and so if there's anything I could recommend, it would be for full support would be to have, and encourage everyone else to do the program with you and so this is a beautiful thing when they can, everyone join in and do the program together because that's true support. 

The next thing that I would say is to ask for more patience, more hugs, more love, more attention, more time, more activities, more movie nights, whatever it is that you need from your loved ones and sometimes it's just them holding you, sometimes it's them cooking for you. Sometimes it's them doing all these extra chores. Like I had mentioned a little bit earlier, but these acts of kindness, these physical touches like a hug or embrace, or quality time together, attention doing certain activities together, all that creates support, creates bond, creates emotional and love during this time.

And sometimes we become a little needy, right? It's just like your child, who's going through the cold or through the flu. They become a little more needy. They're like mommy, this daddy that, and they want a little more attention, a little more TLC, a little more hugs, kisses, and braces. So poise yourself as the child and you also in need of this attention. And you also are worthy of this attention. So ask for it, if you don't ask for it, you'll never get it. So a lot of times our family and friends are not mind readers, but definitely they will more than likely give you what you want. If you say, Hey, I want extra hugs.

I'm sure they will be more than happy to give you extra hugs or extra attention, or to be able to support you with, like I said, chores around the house, taking out the trash, buying your groceries or doing something to help you to help alleviate the stress. This added stress of hair loss, because it is very stressful to go through hair loss.

But then, that's just one side effect of everything else that could be going on within your body, outside your body, mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, et cetera. and so we want to support ourselves in the best way possible. 

And the next thing I would say would be. Understanding and kind of sussing out where to get help because yes, our friends and family can support us. Yes, our community can support us. But what about true help when it comes to reversing alopecia? I would highly recommend going with somebody who has a proven strategy, who has clients who have been there, done that, who she, herself, like myself has been there, done that and has the results to show because there are a lot of gimmicks out there.

And I know there's a lot of skepticism out there, but at the same time it's possible, at the same time. There's so many success stories and if why not them, if they have also healed, why not you, if you, if they have also healed. So it's possible for you, it's possible for your loved ones to heal as well.

If I've healed, why not? You? And that's really the question that you need to be asking yourself because a lot of times the limited beliefs come in and they're like, ah, you can't heal. You have this, you have that, you have problems. You have a second or a third autoimmune disease. You have all these other issues going on with your health.

It doesn't have to be and on top of it, even if you do have those issues, you can still heal and reverse them too and a lot of my clients have more than one autoimmune disease. A lot of my clients have more than one health condition that they're concerned about. And guess what we address them. This is why the evaluation part is so key.

The evaluation, because it's personalized because it's customized to you because we're all so different. We all come to the table with different Health concerns, with different situations in our life, whether we're going through menopause, whether we just had a baby, whether we want to have a baby or whether we just hit puberty or there's just so many different milestones in life and so you have to treat everything differently and it's not one size fits all. It's a hundred percent customized to you. So I would highly, highly recommend grabbing a consultation, getting my book, the secrets to health and hair growth or listening more to the podcast or also grabbing, uh, the free downloads online.

If you go to alopeciaangel.com/free, there's free PDFs for you that teach you which medications cause hair loss, because a lot of medications do, there's like over 20 of 'em, what situations, what the ramifications are of the medications for alopecia. And so this is also learning and understanding more and more about alopecia and how you can put control into your health.

So I highly encourage you to go online, do more research, but then also check out the free PDFs that I have for you. Alopeciaangel.com/free and then also my blog, I have over 160 articles and then of course my podcast. So I look forward to hearing your comments and your questions, you could always email us at [email protected].

We look forward to helping you in serving you take care, and I'll listen to you the next time. 

Thank you for listening to the alopecia angel podcast, a positive light in healing alopecia. You can do this and we can help spread the word that reversing alopecia is possible by telling your friends and family.