Episode 89 - Gaining More by Letting Go

Hey everybody. Welcome back to the Alopecia Angel podcast. I'm your host Johanna Dahlman and today we are going to be talking about letting go to gain more, gaining more by letting go. And what do I mean by this? And this analogy, this mindset, this way of being, this way of life can trickle in into any area of our life.

For example, the other day, I saw that my hair was extra knotty towards the ends and this happens when I need a trim, when I need a haircut. And so what I had did was I have my own shears, my own, haircut stylist scissors at home, and so what I do is I cut my own hair. So when I can tell as I'm brushing my hair, that let's say the ends are a little extra naughty, then that's to me is a red flag that I need to get a haircut.

And so what do I do? I give myself a haircut at home, it's not a full haircut, but it's at least a trim where at least now the hair doesn't catch, and it's not super naughty towards the end. These are ways that I can tell that by cutting my hair, it's actually giving me benefits. It's giving me healthier hair it's giving me less knots, more knots creates more hair loss, and so that's something that you want to avoid. The less naughty we can have our hair, the better it is overall for hair loss.

So in this case, that's a red flag. When I see extra knots, then I'm like, okay, it's time to cut. And if I don't have time to go to my hairstylist who lives in another city, then I need to be able to cut this hair myself. So that's what I did. And sometimes I remember back when I was a child, or younger, I should say, I never wanted to cut my hair because I wanted it extra long down to my waist. And this was hard to achieve as anyone can understand, even as we get older, it's hard to achieve that 15 year old long hair all the way down to your butt. This is a great achievement.

But in my way of thinking at the time, I thought it was only by not cutting your hair and just the opposite. It's more cut, more cutting of the hair, more trends leads to better hair growth. And so many times when I'm walking around at the store or at the supermarket or on my day to day, I notice people who need badly a haircut because they have split ends or because it's just too dry or because the thickness on top is so different from the thickness on the bottom and so on and so forth. There's so many different types of hair issues and many times it's just so much better to let go.

In another instance as well, I have a friend who just got out of a really bad breakup and these last five years were a struggle in this relationship, but then it's once you let go, then so much freedom comes about it so much resilience comes about it, and then on top of it, she found herself again. She didn't want to get lost in what society was thinking and what society wanted from her, what friends and family wanted for her. Now she wants what she wants for herself without having any of this extra noise talk to her about it. And so letting go was actually a very healthy move in the right direction and sometimes we have to go through that.

And going back to alopecia, even in the. During my healing process. You have to let go of the fear. You have to let go of the unknown. And many times you also have to let go of the control and you have to let go of what you think is the right way versus what is the real incorrect way. You have to let go of what your doctors are saying to be able to switch gears and go another path. You need to let go of what an internet search says or what the forums tell you in order to blaze your own trail.

And so letting go gives you actually so much more. And sometimes, of course, there's pain involved, right? There's an emotional pain, right? Just like in a breakup, there's an emotional pain that goes there. Why? Because you cared for that person, because you cared for the time together, because you have lots of memories, because you built a relationship that essentially withered away at this point. But In order to get to your better self, in order to get to that next stage in life, into that next stratosphere of your health and being comes pain sometimes, right?

When we close a chapter, but we open a new one that's so much better and bigger and more beautiful, right? We have to let go to gain more. And in hair, the pain of alopecia, the pain of hair loss. It's either from what I've seen in people, it either forces you into a deep, dark pit where we have the choice to either stay there or not. It can also force us to push through and muscle through it and, pick ourselves up and keep going. But it can also lead us on another path into something so much more beautiful, so much more healing, so much more whole. Finding your true self, finding so much more in life beyond the hair.

And that was the case for me, I was in a deep dark place and I had to muscle through it. I picked myself up numerous times, not just once or twice, but numerous times on a weekly basis to get through this, to keep going. Cause I knew deep down that this was possible because I knew deep down that healing was possible and it was going to happen and it did. And now I know the truth, now I know that the other side of healing, the other side of being your best self, the other side of going through that pain is bliss, it really is. It's bliss, it's freedom, it's peace. It's going back to who you are. It's coming back to yourself. It's, owning your hair, owning your health, owning your future, and that's priceless.

And so we need to let go of the fear to gain and to get to the other side. We need to let go of the "what ifs" We need to let go of the excuses. We need to let go of the pity parties. We need to let go of the naysayers. We need to let go of thinking that medication is the only way. We need to let go of, anyone else who is in our way, that's really what it is. When I say blaze a trail, I really mean it. When I say blaze a trail, I really mean that I was dead on focused, head to the ground, really focused on getting my hair, really focused on my health, really focused on everything well being for me because it was the only way out. I was clawing my way out of this dark hole and guess what? Nobody else could do it but me and no one else can do it but you.

I can guide you. I can show you the ropes. I can tell you what this path is going to look like. I can tell you and help you mitigate challenges and obstacles. But at the end of the day, the obstacle course is yours. The journey is yours, and this is the truth. No one can do this for you, right? No one can. Not your doctor, not your mom, not your dad, not your sister, not your loved one, not your partner, not your husband, not your wife. You got to do this for you, because you're worth it, because you're valuable, because you want this, because it's your desire to be you, the full expression of you.

If you decide that full expression of yourself is without hair, then great, go on with your bad self and, live life large. But if that full expression of yourself is with hair, then there really is only one route, that's you doing this, you implementing, you taking action, you believing, you moving forward, no one else. And it's a beautiful thing. It really is. The journey can be really quick or it can take as long as you need. It can take 40 years, it can take 50 years, but it could also just take two months, it could also just take two to three weeks. It could also just take, 20 days to start seeing that hair growth, to start seeing that next level, to start feeling better, to start being you again.

And so letting go is actually a good thing. Letting go to gain more. It's so much sweeter, so much more beautiful, so much more fabulous than ever before. And another analogy where this really resonates for me and probably for all moms out there is childbirth. The pain of childbirth. It's so worth it because at the end of it, you have this beautiful child. I don't think there's any mom who's going to regret saying: yeah, I hated childbirth, I hated the labor and yeah, I regret going through it. No mom is going to say that. And it's probably the most difficult, maybe painful things. In addition to alopecia that I've gone through and that I've experienced, and, a natural birth, 13 hours, and I've heard other stories where it's 36 hours where it's three, four days long of labor. So I count my blessings on that 13 hours seems like a world record for your first one.

But in any case, childbirth is not easy and on top of it, no one talks about it. There's no one really showing you the ropes, except that this at that point was my midwife who had done 3000 burps, bless her soul. And, she was the only one coaching me through it. And I'll say that without her, without that coach, I don't think I would have been able to do it. Halfway through, I was yelling for a C section. Halfway through, I'm like: do something, let's get this baby out. Childbirth is definitely rigorous. It's challenging, mind, body, and spirit. I went through a tsunami of feelings and not just emotions, but physical reactions. I threw up five times, it was just like endless, but at the same time, at the end of it, holding my baby for the first time, right from the birth canal, straight to my chest, priceless, straight to my arms, priceless, in my own house, priceless.

So many times we need to go through the pain of letting go of the unknown, letting go of the fear, letting go of everything in order to get what we want. And that's the message I wanted to bring to you today. It has come up here recently, over and over again with people, places and things that I encounter and that inspire me. And I have this friend and she tells me every topic. That I touch upon or that comes up, whether it's anything from the news to the weather. She's you always have some way to relate it back to hair loss and alopecia. And I was like, yeah, I live and breathe it.

And I find that many times in life, a lot of these lessons, these life lessons are intertwined. A lot of these life lessons apply. A lot of these life lessons are given to us if we don't learn it once, twice, three times, four times. Have you ever heard of that where the universe gives you something, and this is like on a universal scale, right? It doesn't matter what religion you are, or if you're, a practicing of this, or that it doesn't matter, even if you believe in God or not, or even if you have source or not. But on a universe, energetic situation, I've heard and I felt and I actually have experienced where the universe continues to give you the same lesson that you need to overcome until you actually do it. And it'll come up in different ways.

So for example if You need to start trusting yourself more, it'll give you different challenges, right? And life will just show you the ropes on how to trust yourself more. If you need to build more confidence, it'll show up where you lack confidence so you can build it. And there tends to be themes in life many times or patterns that we can analyze and evaluate and be able to say: Okay this needs to change because if I keep doing this. That's just the definition of insanity, but in many times going through the pain, we enable ourselves to gain so much more, just like going through the birth labor process. We get the baby and then, going through the pain of alopecia, we learn the life lessons and we also learn how to heal and also have this never happened to us again.

So what are you holding on today that you need to let go of? And maybe for some of you, it is the hair, maybe for some of you, you do need to shave it off. Maybe for some of you, you feel inclined to do one thing or another. Maybe for some of you, it's to drop what society says, feels, and thinks about you. Maybe for some of you, it's the pity party. Maybe for some of you, it's the excuses. Maybe for others, it's, Maybe feeling stuck, but what is it that we need to let go of?

And this is more like of a self evaluation. What is it that you need to let go of so that you can move forward to your best self, that you can move forward and gain so much more. Just like my girlfriend who decided to break up with her five year relationship. But now after six months of, deep depression and sadness, etcetera, now she's like sky rocket in the sky. She's flying high. She's making moves. She's getting a new job. She just got a new apartment. She's moving to a new city. Like this girl's on a roll. Her old self is back and a better self is back too because now she's also not making excuses for the other person. Now she's not putting up with stuff that she shouldn't be putting up with.

You know what I mean? So it's like life is giving you lessons, but are we listening? Are we heeding the call of these red flags? Or are we just: it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. What are you doing? These are the questions to ask. What are you holding on to? Is it fear? What is it that you're holding on to that's not letting you move forward? That's not letting you take action, that's not letting you believe in yourself, that's not letting you heal. That's not, that's essentially distracting you. Because I know if you're listening to me right now, your hair is the most important thing, your health is the most important thing. And you don't want to go another day without it.

So what are you doing today? In order to get that, what are you doing today in order to make that a priority? I'll leave you with that, I'll leave you with these questions and I look forward to hearing back your comments.

Feel free to reach out to me [email protected] I'm here for you, I'm on Instagram and Facebook as well. Please rate and review this podcast so that more people can find out about us and also hear about all the words of inspiration and wisdom that I hope to offer to everybody.

Hope you're well. Take care.