Episode 118 - 5 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Healing Hair Loss

Welcome back to the Alopecia Angel podcast, I am your host Johanna Dahlman. I'm so happy to be with you today, I wanted to go ahead and give a shout out to Helen, Helen is in our program right now in the Hair N' Heal program. She just sent me over an email letting me know that she has already seen hair growth and she's only in week 3. So congratulations, big kudos and celebrations to Helen and I look forward to seeing you on the next coaching call and speaking more about this. This is what you get when you are in the Hair N' Heal program, you get to see progress, you get to see accountability, you get to see support, you get to have so much at your fingertips, and I'm here for you every step of the way.

Today's podcast is about the 5 lies that we tell ourselves, and I wanted to dive deep into this because these are many times these are limiting beliefs, many times these are things that we take on as beliefs, many times these are situations that are hindering us in every aspect of life, not just in hair loss, but also in other areas. And so this can crush our goals, crush our dreams and really, you know, hair growth is again, it's your birthright. It's what is deemed for you, regardless of age, race or ethnicity, you have the power to regrow your hair, you have the power to heal.

Many of you are not just dealing with hair loss, but many of you are dealing with multiple other ancillary health concerns or situations and I know this cause I see this right all in your intake form. And so healing all of that, plus your hair loss is 100% possible. Now the journey is going to look different for everybody, right? Just like all of us, if we were all traveling to New York City, it's all going to look different. But at the same time, we can all get there and that's the key to this. Let's go ahead and dive in deeper to what these lies are and what we say to ourselves.

The first lie is this will be hard and this is the hesitancy for many people, not just in healing hair loss, but in anything, whether it's doing a marathon or a triathlon, or, you know, going for the gold when it comes to the Olympics, or for those of you wanting to get your master's degree or something else, anything that challenges us. is going to make us better for it. You know I think back to my son, when he started to walk, he fell a thousand times, but at the same time, no one's going to say to him, okay, this is too hard, no need to walk. You can crawl your whole life. No, one's going to say that.

And the thing is, is focusing on getting well and getting healthy is dramatically easier than being sick or losing your mind. And so this is where we need to really focus on getting well and focus on the positive instead of looking into how difficult this will be or how difficult this may be, because for many of you, it's actually not that difficult. And many of you actually start the program thinking: Okay, this will be challenging, this will be like this, and then all of a sudden you're like, this is not challenging at all. I can make these changes. I can do these tweaks, I can implement this, I can do this.

And so it's very easy when you have a step by step approach, it's very easy when you have somebody to walk you through this. But I will say that definitely being sick, being unhealthy, losing your hair, it's not just the hair loss, as you know, it's also the depression, the anxiety, the ancillary conditions, the ancillary health concerns. When you don't put yourself as a priority, this is a problem. So telling yourself that this will be hard. In reality, it's not hard. What is harder is actually being sick.

So understand that having the hair loss is existentially so much more difficult and challenging than healing it because healing it you actually have a route you have a path and you have the knowledge and the wherewithal, but when you're actually in the hair loss, when you're in the situation, and you have no route, no path, no, no guide, no accountability, no support, no nothing, this is the most difficult part. And it is because I've been there. I understand exactly what you're thinking, and what you're going through.

Another little lie, little lie number #2 is what we tell ourselves, is that it is too expensive. And I'll tell you is that being sick is much more expensive than thoughtfully spending your resources to get and stay well, to get your hair growth, to get your health back, to get your happiness back. With a better functioning, body and in hair growth, you will have more money because the quality of your decisions will be better, the quality of your health, the brain fog will lift, the ancillary conditions that potentially direct your path towards certain decisions and habits will obviously fail and continue to fail until something changes.

And that's the thing is like, when you're in a situation, let's say you're hungry and you haven't eaten all day. So let's say you're hungry, obviously, when you're hungry, and you're in a starvation mode, and you're just very, very famished, you're going to make maybe poor decisions, and maybe even behave differently versus someone who's, already ate, there's big difference. And we know this probably because it's happened to all of us, right? The same thing happens is like when you're in the hair loss mode, you act differently, you think differently, you feel differently, and therefore because of that, you make certain decisions differently.

But when you're in a positive mode, when you're in the hair growth mode, when you're on the right route, on the right path, your decisions are different, the way you see life, the way you see habits, challenges, obstacles, everything changes just by having that change in your own life. And I will say that my own struggle of 4 years was super difficult, but that day, that day that I can like taste in my mouth, even right now I can taste that day of when I started seeing and feeling and having all those symptoms lift, that was a game changer for me and everything shifted, you know, my mood, my behavior, my actions, everything. I was just even more aggressive than before, I was even more positive than before, I was even more of everything than before, but in a better way, in a healthier way, just in a different manner.

Many times that's what we need, we just need a little nudge and many times it's not even that expensive because I'll say, out of my own experience that traveling to see doctors in the US, in the Netherlands, by car, train, plane, the hotels, paying out of pocket because I had no insurance in either country was definitely much more expensive. All of that plus everything that I've tried throughout those 4 years. I've spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars, and I would have paid for a program like the Hair N' Heal program to cut the BS, cut the nonsense, cut the extras, and get straight to the point, get straight to the healing.

To me personally, it's a no brainer, to all my clients it's a no brainer. And so for you, you got to think: Okay, what have you tried that hasn't given you results, right? You've tried the minoxidils, you've tried the medications, you've tried the wigs, you've tried the PRP, the laser caps, you've tried all these things and all these things are a bunch of money. I get it, but none of that has led you to results. So why don't you choose a proven framework? And the thing is, it's like when you start looking at money, like what's more expensive, is it healing the hair loss or is it continuing to have hair loss for more months, years and decades of your life?

Because the thing is, our life is finite. I mean, none of us have our lives bought, right? No one can say: Oh, guess what? I know I'm going to die at 101 years of age. No one knows that. And so that's just it. What do you want your quality of life to look at for the rest of your life? And for me, you know, as you know, fertility was a big thing for me because I was in my 30s I wanted to be, you know, getting married and getting pregnant because I had already met my husband. I just needed to take those next steps of getting married, having kids, etc. etc. But the thing is, it's like many times when you have the hair loss, when you have imbalances, when you have an autoimmune disease, that fertility is also taken away.

All those other options are taken away, even if you don't have autoimmune alopecia hair loss, it could be a different type of hair loss. But if you have other goals in life, then potentially this hair loss is actually showing you a red flag, right? It's a red flag for an imbalance of what's going on underneath the hood. And so this is what's happening. So many times your other goals cannot be achieved because of it, and because fertility was much more important than my hair, I stayed the natural route, as you know. And so due to this, I was able to easily on the first try, get pregnant at 40 and have a beautiful 10 pound baby, essentially.

This is the power of healing, because it's actually much more expensive to not have, at least for me, not have the baby that I do have now to not have the family that I have now, that's actually more expensive than staying unhealthy with hair loss, with alopecia, with an autoimmune disease. And for those of you who don't know, who actually have the autoimmune disease, alopecia areata, totalis, universalis. If you let this prolong, 25% of you will go on to acquire a second and the third autoimmune disease.

Maybe for some of you, you're on the fence, and you're like: Eh, I can live with my alopecia areata, I can live with my alopecia universalis. Well, what about if it gets worse? Because I'm going to tell you, like, if you do nothing about your hair loss, it's only going to get worse. It's not going to get better by doing nothing. It's not going to get better by doing minoxidil, it's not going to get better by taking the medications, it's not going to get better by doing the PRP or the laser caps or any of these other gimmicks. It won't. So you might as well strive for better health. With yes, gives you the hair, but at the same time also prevents a second and a third autoimmune disease, and so this is part of the situation.

But for those of you who don't have autoimmune disease, you could be having hair loss, but you could also be having ancillary health concerns on top of whatever else that you already have right now. And like I said, having any type of hair loss is already a red flag. So what are you waiting for? Like, it's only going to progress and get worse. Why would you want to do that to yourself? And so, you know, these are questions that you should be asking yourself when you give yourself that excuse or this little lie of: This is too expensive. Being sick is actually much more expensive than healing and living a better life with your happiness, with your confidence, with your self esteem, that's actually much more expensive.

Another lie we tell ourselves is I don't have time, and I'll tell you that many of my clients live in college dorms. I've had people who live in hotels, I've had people who have multiple jobs, 2 and 3 jobs, who are single parents and have 4 kids, or who have very, very challenging work schedules, and they still have time for this. And so having time is a little lie we tell. It's also an excuse, which in the last week's podcasts, I talked about that. Spending time and energy to optimize your health and your hair will help you live longer and you'll also be a sharper, giving you much more time overall, and it will upgrade you on all fronts, not just your hair, but also your health.

And so this is huge because you cannot not have time, if that makes sense. The thing is, Your job or your family or anyone else, they can't do this for you, you got to do this. And so this is the key part. We have to do for ourselves what no one else is able to do for us. And that's part of last week's podcast too, of taking radical responsibility, like we got to do for ourselves what no one else can do for. And even when it comes to parents doing the program. Yes, you could be doing the program for your little one, absolutely 100% and you can see them through and have them see hair growth and heal and everything.

But at some point, this little one is going to grow into a full adult, and this adult will need to take the reins and will need to fly on its own wings. And so just in the same way where this child becomes an adult and starts to have their own financial independence, and they start to have their own independence in general, they will also need to understand and learn these key factors and this doesn't happen again, because then they would be in control of their health of their hair and of their, future.

And so this is also very necessary because you have to make time for you, you are a priority. And if you don't make yourself a priority, then, you know, the medical bills, the specialist, the wasting time with doctors, all these things will continue to disrupt your life, take money out of your pocket for sure, but then also not give you the results you want. And so you want the results. I know you do, everyone does. But you need to make time for you because no one else will do that for you. The other lie we tell ourselves is that everything in moderation just a little can't hurt. I don't need you know, a full blown diet and lifestyle overhaul. I don't need this, I don't need that.

This actual lie can go for everybody in general, whether you've done the program or not. And the thing is, it's like you can't discount your biology, you can't discount what your biology says and how we can improve it and how we can't improve it and the decline or, you know, the hair growth and seeing that. The thing is, it's like, we want to sometimes tell ourselves little lies and say: Oh, you know, everything is okay in moderation, when that's not the case. For many of you, it's not the case in certain things, in certain elements, right? We're all going to look and be a little bit different, but this is where we can't lie and this is where the Hair N' Heal excels. I show you the proof in the pudding of what's going on so that you now own up to your full ownership of choices.

Cause any choice you make will either take you and continue on the route of hair growth, or will deter you and put you on the route of hair loss. And at the end of the day, it's your choice. I'm showing you the path, and just like anything else, right or wrong, or, you know, decline or uphill or, you know, improvement or not improvement. You get to choose. This is the beautiful thing, but we got to go back to last week's podcast and listen to that because again, it takes radical responsibility. And so everything in moderation is actually something that we shouldn't be thinking is a slogan or anything okay. Because when it comes to hair loss, clearly your everything in moderation hasn't given you the results you want and has obviously given you a decline. Because that's how most people live, right? Everything in moderation. That's not the key here.

The thing is, again, your biology, my biology, it's all going to look a little bit different, but we can harness this. Inside the Hair N' Heal program, I show you the proof of the pudding so that you can make those conscious decisions and say: Okay, no, this has got to stop, this has got to change, this is okay, this is great, and this is what's possible, because literally any excuse, any lie you tell yourself is on the other side of hair growth. It's the opposite side. So if we had a border, let's say if we had a border like this, you know, one country with another country, you have the side of the lies and the excuses, but then on the other side, we have hair growth, positivity, happiness, freedom, so much upgrade in your health and so much more. So it's just on the other side of that where we really truly need to look at because this is where everything happens.

And when we say that everything in moderation, just a little can't hurt. This is the gateway thought to illness. It is generally an excuse to justify doing something unhealthy. Just a little can't hurt leads to just one more cigarette, one more piece of cake, one more etc. And so we need to stop ourselves in the tracks and take that responsibility and be like: No, this isn't good for me, I need to do this instead. We're all adults, we have the power to change, we have the power and the choice. This is all about choice. And when you have and see the choices that you have, Then this is a beautiful thing because then the path is very clear. So that was little lie number 4 and I will say just to add on to that little lie number 4 is that the initial change is hard because, you know, we don't like change in general. And sometimes, we don't like to do what needs to be done, but with the right attitude and strategy, it can be very, very rewarding.

And again, that's the other side of our excuses of the lies and of the stuff we tell ourselves, the stories we tell ourselves like: Oh, this won't work. Oh, it's too expensive. Oh, this is that this is this, this is that. Well, you can keep your lies, you can keep your excuses, you can keep your limitations, but that doesn't give you your hair growth, right? That doesn't give you your health and that's not going to improve anything or even move the needle. And so this is a problem because then you're just stuck in a situation and it's not going to get any better. And truly, I want you to heal, I want you to have and succeed in full hair growth because I know it's possible for you, like it is for me, like it is for my clients.

The last, but not least, lie that we tell ourselves is that I don't want to deprive myself. And I hear this actually a lot more from parents versus adults. And granted, parents are adults, but what I'm talking about is like people who are the adult who are going through the hair loss, they have a different type of determination. They have a different type of goal setting a) Because they're older b) Because it's for them. And the mind shift has changed. It goes to: Okay, I need to make myself a priority. I've been lacking in this area, or maybe it's been like, this is for me, this is my happiness. I can't go on living this way. I hear that a lot. I can't go on living this way because the hair loss affects them in every aspect of their life. They're no longer the mom, the wife you know, the friend or the daughter that used to be cheery and positive and outgoing and social and etc. etc. etc.

Now they're like half of who they were or worse, a lot less. So having the adult go through this is a lot different than the adult who doesn't have alopecia, but who's doing it for their kid. Because then, the parents are normally saying: Oh, I don't want to deprive my kid of this, but if you don't want to deprive your kid of this, and you don't want to modify it like this, or you don't want to change it like that, well then, this is also a problem because then, you may feel like you're depriving your kid, but at the same time, what's the end goal? The end goal is health, the end goal is full hair growth, the end goal is to protect them from a second and a third autoimmune disease.

And I'm going to tell you, age has no barrier to what's possible. Cause I've seen 5 year olds with 3 autoimmune diseases, 5 year olds with 3 autoimmune diseases. And so this is the problem, it's like, you don't know if your child will be next to have that second or third. And why would you want to risk that? Why would you want to roll the dice? And so this is where the parent who is not going through the hair loss and but is doing the program for the child needs to understand that depriving yourself, this is not the mindset that we need. This is more like I'm getting you on the path to health and clearly what you've been doing before hasn't been working.

And so we need to switch gears and maybe switch them a little harder at times, not always, but to make sure that, you know, Johnny, Sally, Marie, whatever your child's name is, gets to see that hair growth and gets to get back on the road to recovery because that's the end goal that really is. And so this is when we say this lie to ourselves, I don't want to deprive myself or I don't want to, I don't want to deprive Johnny of this, this is when you make poor health decisions. You are robbing yourself of what you really want, which is the energy, the memory, the good health, the great hair, the full hair growth, getting well, and being healthy is about abundance. It's never about deprivation.

And so this is where the Hair N' Heal program will help you avoid not just diseases, but also hair loss from happening ever again. And again, it will upgrade your health on so many different levels. But the thing is, it's like, if you think that healing yourself is depriving yourself, well, then this is also a mistake. It's a big error in mindset because again, the actual fact of upgrading your health is doing better for you. It's not depriving yourself. Like, for example, I don't feel deprived at all of how I feel. And even though I have a toddler and he is thriving and he's so healthy, thank God. And he's also, you know, at the top of his class.

But at the same time, he has no autoimmune diseases, right? He has no hair loss, he has no alopecia, nor will he ever have it. Why is that? Because again, I'm going to teach him what he needs to know, I'm going to show him the ropes as he grows up, but then I'm also going to let him fly on his own wings and his own accord. And this is where many times the teachings, the learnings need to be changed and need to be just tweaked ever so slightly so that we can see the hair growth so that we can see the health come back and if your child is still struggling with hair loss, it's because something's not working.

And so, this needs to be revisited, but thinking that being healthy is deprivation is not the right path because then any little thing will take you off that road to recovery. And so, once you have that knowledge, once you have the coaching, once you have the tools and techniques that you need, then it may, everything becomes a no brainer and all your choices, all your decisions, it's about you, it's about your health, it's about your hair, and it's about getting your life back. Because don't you want to be done with looking for solutions for your hair growth? Don't you want to be done with this chapter?

I know when I was going through my own alopecia, I just wanted to be done, I wanted to focus on other things of life. I wanted to focus on my marriage, I wanted to focus on getting married, on having my kids, on buying a home and getting established, and all these other things. I didn't want to keep worrying about hair growth and hair loss. Like, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was sick and tired of being obsessed and looking at the drains and looking at my hairbrush and looking at are these bald spots going away? Have they grown in? You know what I mean? I was done being obsessed with just my hair. And I know you are too.

For those of you parents who are listening, I know you may be tired and exhausted, not just from having to deal with your own job and your own marriage and your own life personally and professionally, but then also your child's hair loss. And I'm just going to go ahead and assume that it's autoimmune alopecia because the children who I see only have autoimmune alopecia. They don't have stressed induced hair loss, they don't have this, they have autoimmune alopecia. The adults, they have a little mixed bag of everything, but in regards to children, it's all autoimmune. So I know you're probably sick and tired of having to put in extra energy, extra resources into this. When I'm sure that you would probably want to be planning a birthday party or a family trip or a vacation or camping or something fun instead.

I know this 100% because I'm a parent and I would rather be planning trips, vacations, going to Disneyland and all these other things instead of focusing so much time and energy and resources into little Johnny or little Sally's healing situation. But I'm telling you, the longer you wait, the longer this will take, the sooner you do it, the sooner, the better. And I say this because a) You can avoid a second and a third autoimmune disease, but then also because you also get the answers and the road to recovery sooner than later. And that's the name of the game getting on the road to recovery sooner than later.

So these, my friends are the lies we tell ourselves, whether you're the adult doing this for yourself or the adult doing this for your child. And I would say as a mother, as a parent, as an adult who, who's gone through the alopecia herself, there's so much other things that you would probably want to be accomplishing and doing that alopecia has robbed you of currently. And I say this just currently, because again, this is a chapter in your book of life that you can put to rest, that you can reverse and heal and move on with your goals, move on with your family trips, move on with your next steps in life.

Don't let alopecia rob you of your life, get on the road to recovery. The sooner you do it, the better it is. I mean, my heart goes out to all of you who potentially have found me and still don't believe that this is possible because that's crazy pants, absolutely crazy pants. And that is the first step, it truly is. The first step is believing you can do this, believing that this is possible. I wanted to talk about these 5 lies because guess what? This is a bunch of nonsense that we like to say to ourselves in order to keep us in our comfort zone, to keep us in our stagnant mode, to keep us stuck, to keep us in our hair loss. It doesn't make sense to me.

Lie #1, just to recap, this will be hard. We know that it's not hard, we know that we just need to implement, we know that this is possible for everybody, regardless of where you live. You just need to follow the plan, you need to follow the steps. It's too expensive. Lie #2 It's not too expensive, what's more expensive is losing your hair, going through the suffering, going through the anguish, the anxiety, the depression, having a second or a third autoimmune disease or having other ancillary health conditions. When you're not focusing on the hair growth or on the hair loss, then, you know, you would have more energy to do other things. But when our obsession is only on whether the hair is growing or, you know, the hair loss and what's going on, then we become super consumed.

And so again, it's not too expensive because again, it's robbing you from the life that you could be having right now. I don't have time, everything in moderation can't hurt. Those are two other lies that we tell ourselves. Everything in moderation is a gateway to unhealthy patterns and allowing ourselves to do other unhealthy things that again won't give us the benefits or the return on investment that we're looking for. And the return on investment is your full health is your full hair. That's what we want, right? I don't have time. This is a huge excuse for anything and everybody. There's no other way.

You got to make time and put yourself as a priority, because who would I be today if I didn't put myself as a priority because then my marriage or my wedding or any of that would have been just down in the dumps. Having a baby would probably be extra challenging had I not healed. Had I not healed so many other things would have had a domino effect and so this is a problem. You got to think the life you could have being healed or the life you could have had. That's an option, that's a decision. That's a choice. Do you really want one life? Being not healed or do you want to be healed and thrive? Do you want to be healed and have your best life? Do you want to be healed and do all the things that you want to do and not let anything hinder you or hold you back?

Because I will say, you know, even though you brush off hair loss and you're like: Ah it's no big deal, but what if something bigger is diagnosed? What if something bigger is underneath? What if something bigger is hindering yourself and your health, right? So yeah, these can happen at any point at any point in our lives. And none of us have, you know, a magic ball to say, Oh, you know, I'm going to heal this date, I'm going to be diagnosed that date, I'm going to die this day. None of us have that magic ball. And so because of that, you want to understand that life is, you know, flowing through our fingertips and every day is a gift. And you want to make it the best, right?

Again, fast forward. Do you want to be 80 years old with no hair and, and thinking to yourself: Oh, I regret not doing more for myself? I regret not taking care of myself, I regret not healing myself. Are you really going to say that to yourself? I don't think so. Just the opposite, right? And the last line we say is that I don't want to deprive myself. And I will say that there is a way to have your cake and eat it too, there always is. But you know, it's always going to be a healthier version and that's very important. And at the same time, I will say that change is necessary. If you don't change, Then you get to keep your hair loss, you get to keep your limitations, you get to keep your excuses.

And so change is definitely necessary and I will say that I have grown substantially throughout this journey of not just healing my hair loss, but also healing others and it's made me a better person for it. It's made me, a better person all around and I continue to work on myself because that's just it, you know, learning, education doesn't stop. And so just because maybe you've graduated from high school, maybe you've graduated from college, the education doesn't stop. There's real life experience to be had, and you're going through it right now.

This is just like that difficult math problem that you went through, or that difficult challenge at school that you went through, this is just one more obstacle, and I can guarantee it that you can overcome it. You just gotta take the steps, you gotta go with the right route, the right path, with a tailored approach to you and to your situation, and you should be off to the races.

If you want to learn more about the Hair N' Heal program, I invite you to come to alopeciaangel.com We are having a free training coming up in the first couple weeks of April, it starts April 4th. So, go ahead and email us [email protected] And you can see the free training links and show notes, but then also email us if you have any questions or concerns. It's a 3 part series of a training, and I look forward to answering your questions and educating you more.

Take care.